Tuesday, July 14, 2009
I Choose a Life that Compels my Strength
I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman. ~Anaïs Nin
Somewhen a long time ago I saved this quote. I now wish to change it slightly. Now when I read it I substitute the word LIFE for MAN. Because in truth, nothing that happens to me is really about anyone else. It's (as a friend used to say)"all about me." And that's the truth of it.
I am the one in charge of my life, growth, my future.
I could continue to choose to do what I have done in the past - play small. What did it get me? A boring, if very busy, life. A life that didn't bring the satisfaction of creating extraordinary things (except in the vast quantities of things accomplished). I had been raised with the idea of thinking small, lest I be disappointed when things didn't manifest. And so I was constantly disappointed.
I choose now to move into what I hope will be a demanding life. Requiring me to stretch, grow, learn new skills, and let go of unworkable beliefs about my abilities. This life requires me to be tough - finding the courage within myself to stick with it, even when a part of me is overwhelmed.
I choose to keep my inner child close, but to let go of the naivety that has kept me locked into living small. I am not a little girl anymore and it is time I took my place in this life of extraordinary joy.
BEing in Joy