Have We Become Numb?

I am a simple woman.  With a good heart.  I am much like a Hobbit, with smaller feet.  Peaceful with a ready smile and a good word.  Stronger than you know, stronger than I know too. 

I love a good story, full of mystery, puzzles, vivid images.  Stories that roll around getting my heart racing and have me leaning forward hanging on every word.  

I read the Hobbit when I was in high school.  I skipped through the violent parts because I could.  I read the Lord of the Rings trilogy at seventeen.  I didn’t skip the violence, because I had come to believe that if I picked up a book it was my duty… to… read… every… word…

And I fell from innocence.  I dated guys who thought that Taxi Driver with its blood and gore was a good movie to take a girl out to.  We didn’t go out again.  But with each movie I fell a little further.  Losing more of my softness, my humanity.

We (human beings) killed each other in one war ( … excuse me) “Police Action” after another.  Emotionally damaging handsome young men, raping soft young women, maiming the elderly, and teaching innocent children that this was the way of life.  Lest you think I only point fingers at my own country… think again.  We are all to blame. 

Today I went to a movie that I have been waiting ten months to see.  I remembered The Hobbit with such fondness.  And the viral Youtube hit  'Unexpected Briefing' for Air New Zealand helped me remember the delightful fantasy of Tolkien's book.   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBlRbrB_Gnc 

Yes, I remembered that there were icky parts in the book, but in my mind they were minimized by the strenuousness of the journey, and the rich vivid language of Middle Earth.  

I think I am going to stop going to the movies.  

Hollywood has outdone itself.  One trailer after another showed apocalypse.  EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM.  Even the ‘children’s movie.’  I need a dose of Sesame Street to wash the stench of what the big studios think will make them rich without caring what it does to our souls to watch that crap.

What followed was a visually beautiful movie.  In case you hadn't guessed - The Hobbit.  There was so much wisdom contained within the dialogue.  Words that I did not remember from my youth, but that touched the wise woman in me today.  The actors were superb, the score struck chord after chord in my soul.   I am a different woman than the one who watched Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings trilogy - released in 2001-2003.  But today the brutality is horrific.   

Is this what we are destined to become as we fall into a downward spiral of violence?  Will some of us become the goblins and orcs of Tolkien’s nightmares?  Because we have come to believe it is the way of the world?  Do we have much further to fall?  Are we truly different than orcs as we leave behind bodies rotting in the fires of Auschwitz, the Twin Towers, alleys of America, villages in Africa, the jungles of wherever else the violence is erupting this week?  Truly?  Are those of us who perpetuate this that different than orcs?

There is magic in the world, though perhaps it doesn’t come out of a wand. But we will not find it if we continue to be lost in the stories of brutality, rape, pillage and destruction.  The sacredness of life is lost as we become numb to it all by what we are exposed to, whether we use electronic devices, a two-handed broad sword, or an AK-47.

We must stop accepting that this is the way of the world.  One person at a time we must begin looking for beauty.  Kindness.  Truth.  Faith.  

We must look for and find the magic in the world around us.  We must let go of our very basic tendency to react out of fear, controlling it through courage, and find the sacred magic within our own hearts. 

Magic Dust

It comes from the beauty of a butterfly and from the laughter of children.  There is magic in the first cry of a baby or her first coo.  There is power in the strength of a smile and a kind word.  Wild magic is loosed upon the land when true loves come together.  But the best comes when we come together to build something for all of us.

I pray that someday we will look at these old stories of violence and brutality and be baffled:  how could anyone ever do that to another being?

And that my dear friends is magic of the highest order.

Gayle McCain, Author

 

It's Good, but not that Good

I make a good cheesecake.  I do.  Rarely as 'pretty' as the one on the left, but they taste better because they are homemade.

I have friends who love my cheesecake, so much that I have taken to packing one in my suitcase when I visit.  Alas with my busy school schedule, I have not done any traveling recently.  When we're on the phone, there is an element of wistfulness when we speak of the delectable dessert.

Christmas came and went, and instead of traveling, I worked on a manuscript.  In spite of being on a semester break, I didn't have time to make these creamy sweets.  I am ashamed to say:  I pouted too.  I love Cheesecake.  Finally, I finished the manuscript and bought the ingredients and made...

Chocolate Cappuccino Cheesecake

Every ingredient measured

I try to carefully follow dessert recipes, especially when it's a new one, because I don't bake often enough to know how to 'wing it.'

I doubled the recipe, but forgot to double the dark chocolate.  In went more cocoa and sugar to compensate, which threw off my timing and I added the cream too soon.  The recipe was adjusted and readjusted, with each addition of more coffee, or more sugar.  Tweeking it with a little bit of this and a little bit of that until finally I ran out of vanilla.

I surrendered, poured the batter in the pans, and then I licked my fingers.

Big Mistake.  It's been a long time since I baked anything more complicated than a batch of brownies.  But this was as perfect as a chocolate cheesecake could be.  It's possible that it was simply chocolate deprivation, or maybe it really was that good, but I had to wrestle my inner glutton to the ground before I managed to get the two pans in the oven.

My house smelled of something extraordinary.  Then I had to let them cool in the fridge.  Every time I opened the door, the fragrance tempted me to sneak just a smidge.  I was strong.  (Actually I left the house. It was easier.)

It fell and cracked.
Not pretty but mmmmmmmmm

When I got home, I made a place for these pans of goodness in my freezer.  Frozen, they travel well, whether it's in a suitcase or snuggled into a box for overnight shipping.  The first time I did that my friend had to use a hack saw to cut into his hand delivered 'birthday cake.'  After that I started cutting each cake into serving size pieces, with wax paper between each piece, before freezing.  Frozen they keep well and don't seem to lose their flavor (much).  I admit they lose all of the elegance that a whole cheesecake brings to a table with all that wax paper sticking up all over the place.

This year's new recipe, Chocolate Cappuccino Cheesecake, called for a dollop of cappuccino whipped cream on top of each piece.  Smooth, rich, creamy , just sweet enough, dark chocolaty, lightly coffee...

OMG YUM !

Frozen I packed one for overnight shipping.  Safely packed into a box with a nice little Christmas card tucked in with it, I took it to my favorite shipper.  The clerk took care to type everything properly into his computer.  "Personal Gift of Baked Goods.  Christmas Card.  Total Value $10.00.  No Insurance Needed."

And then he handed me the receipt, asking how I was going to pay for it.  The bill was $116.17.

"What?  You're kidding right?"

No.  Apparently not.

• I spent less than that to send 100 pounds of books to Canada - overnight.
• I could pay my car insurance, my water bill, and a trash bill put together with that.
• I can take my children out for a birthday celebration -with dessert - for that.
• I can have a massage.
• I could by a one-way airplane ticket to someplace nifty.
• I could buy 1/2 a text book for that.  (You can't buy 1/2 a textbook, but you get the idea.)

$116.17 ??

I don't think so.  I love this guy.  He's my best friend.  But - no.  I'm not going to do that...

Sighing heavily, I took the box away from the guy behind the counter.  I left the store and broke the bad news.

Gayle McCain, Author
Sacrifice,
Forest of Mists,
Kivi & the Lizard People

My friend was nice about it.  I suspect he wanted to whine and tell me to go back into the shipping shop.  He didn't.  But I could tell he had been really looking forward to a delectable Chocolate Cappuccino Cheesecake.

So now... hiding deeply in my freezer, is a cheesecake.  Waiting for either a party where I need a dessert in a hurry, or time to travel.

Gayle