Flexing my Butterfly Wings

 I am finally done struggling to get out of the cocoon in which I have been wrapped for... a millennium, it seems. 

 I still remember when I thought I was wounded and dying (emotionally anyway). 

I remember not understanding that the caterpillar had to change. Had to. 

 I am still a little sleepy, and am still flexing my wings, preparing to do whatever is needed to shine love out into the world. Comforting those who are still stuck in their cocoons. Encouraging those who are still caterpillars. 

These people are trying to keep their lives so busy that they 'don't have time' for the change that is upon them. And if they're too busy, then it can't possibly happen, right? 

 I try not to laugh too loud. 

There are butterflies who came out of their cocoons before me. They are kindly offering me encouragement. Because they remember the feeling of being unable to fly. 

 And I am grateful for their wisdom.

I Need to Find Music Again

 Tonight I went to the symphony. It was a powerful evening of soaring melodies and intricate harmonies that delighted the ear, and created, well, magic. 

The magic it created was that, as I explained to the friend I went with, I am ready to sing with someone again. Not professionally, but joyfully, expressively, wantonly, with passion. And I don't want to sing alone anymore. 

So I shall go in search of opportunities and people, for I need to find music again. I was a 2nd soprano in a church choir, 25-40 strong, but I grew too liberal for the message and moved on. 

Then I sang with Lois, a talented alto, in a very tiny, very liberal church. We were 2-6 people singing to a guitar and a bass player. And then again I outgrew the messenger, and I moved on. And so now I have no one to sing with. 

My daughter is grown and gone and my son sings dirges, and only dirges. I do not remember teaching them to him, so he must have learned them from somewhere else. But that is not what I want anyway. 

 I want close 2-3 part harmony. I want to learn how to find the harmony inherent within the melody, swapping back and forth so that none of us is stuck always being one of the Pips (as in Gladys Knight and the...) 

My body has nearly forgotten the hours I spent learning fingerpicking, my voice is rusty from disuse, and I never did learn how to play bass clef with my left hand on my piano. But I will find someone(s) to sing with. Tomorrow. No. Today. It is now Friday, and I want to sing. So I shall call Lois and see whether she can spare a couple of hours this weekend to help me find the music again.