Saturday, March 14, 2015

If I was/am God... I owe you an apology...

(or perhaps a whole bunch of them)

First off – I’m sorry I threw you out of the Garden of Eden.  I got mad.  I gave you one rule – without ever explaining the consequences.  And you, being normal children, had to test me till I snapped.  I’m sorry.

I should never have asked Abraham to ever consider sacrificing his son.  What was I thinking?  Life is sacred.  And all I did was set humanity up for human sacrifice.  ‘Face Palm.’

In fact, the first time some oaf sacrificed an innocent life (lamb, calf, or worm) I should have brought smoke and fire.  Eeewe.  Killing a cute baby critter– just for me?  Food, I understand.  But to appease me?    Please don’t do it again.  I’m sorry I didn’t put my foot down sooner.

I wish I’d thought of simplifying the ‘rules for living’ into “Love him, love her, love yourself, love God” sooner, but I got so caught up in writing Tweets with Moses and I ended up with 10 rules. Thank god he was a good editor – or we’d have ended up 80,000.  My fault… I didn’t know how much I’d like tweeting.

Jesus was a good guy.  Yes, he had a temper.  It’s ok.  He was a good guy.  And he reminded me when I was getting really mad over his crucifixion that the priests, guards and Judas were just foolish guys caught in their egos.  When it really counted – he kept his head on his shoulders.  So I rewarded him with the whole roll the stone away thing…  In fact Jesus has been the best friend a gal could have. 

I should have taken a page out of his book and forgiven those foolish men for each religious war and each ‘holier than thou’ idiot who burned some innocent (if perhaps outspoken) woman at the stake.  I'm still struggling with that.

I did promise not to cover the earth with water again – wiping out a whole lot of humanity.  See, we still have rainbows.  And they sure are pretty.  : D

I’m sorry I didn’t stop power hungry old men from sending millions of young men and boys off to war – simply because they didn’t have a clue of how to handle all that young energetic testosterone.

Testosterone is a lovely thing, but I probably should have figured out how to channel it better.  Oh and instituted some sort of instant chemical castration for rape.  I was negligent.  I’m sorry. 

I have tried to keep my hands off your stumbling around trying to live.  Sometimes I’d get so mad the earth would shake.  Problem is… my control isn’t so hot, and I’d end up shaking up a bunch of innocent people.  Oops. 

 I have made mistakes, I’m sorry.  And I’m doing a lot better these days.  

And while I'm writing... Here are a few suggestions for what I’d like humanity to do.  These are NOT laws - they're suggestions for a better world:
·  Be kind. 
·  Put down the weapons. 
·  Learn to communicate.
·   Learn to apologize properly – because we all stumble.  
·  Be kind to yourself – your heart is tender – and you matter. 
·  Please learn to work together – without worrying about color, tribe, profession, language, differences, and similarities.  Working together is a skill that is so valuable I can’t even begin to tell you.  It allows you to accomplish the most amazing things.
·   I’d like you to clean up my oceans.  Stop killing my whales, dolphins…
·  You’re going to have to share… Because the big powerful countries won’t stay that way long – if they don’t. 
·  Oh and please don’t pee in the kitchen sink.  Ever again.  It’s icky.

 Try to adopt a ‘Pay it Forward’ kind of attitude for favors, debt, and labor/energy exchange, because sooner or later what you put out comes back to you.

If you have gotten rich on the backs of and/or at the expense of somebody else… shame on you.  Go sit in a corner while we redistribute your wealth to someone who will be a good steward.  If you have received help from someone – we expect that you will do what you need to make it count.

If you make mistakes (errors in judgment – or simple stupidity) – that’s OK… we forgive you…  Did you learn?  Did you pick yourself up, apologize, and go again?  That is what we hope for.

If you were mean, or selfish, or not respectful – that is NOT OK – go sit in a time out, until you can figure out what you are going to do to make it right. 

And eventually you’re going to have to apologize – so make it a heartfelt one.

It’s my fault for allowing humanity total freedom to have their heads somewhere dark.  But you have picked yourselves up and become some of the most loving, compassionate beings in the Universe. 

I am proud of you.  I wasn’t a very good god… I didn’t always do my job right.  And I was often petty, spiteful, jealous, and well – you know the religious history better than I do… (All those names and dates confuse me.)

BTW – I’d like to thank the guy who invented the typewriter, and by extension word-processors.  As much as I love the art of the old fashioned scribe, it’s slow… and my hand isn’t any too steady. Oh yeah and air-conditioning.  Thanks guys.

I have learned.  Some of the lessons have been very painful – learning about love, loss, and love again.  Learning lessons about who you can help – and who has to help themselves. 

I have learned patience.  And I have become kinder as I mature.  Thank you for playing humanity with me, and please forgive me for my errors, mistakes, and my temper. But through it all – I have loved you.

One last bit of advice:  

Treat each other with the greatest of respect.  Nurture one another every chance you get.  And play well together.

I love you.    ***Hugs***


(If this post offends you, I'm sorry.  I believe that we are all One.  Which means that on some level each one of us must accept the responsibility for the good and the bad that has been done - because each one of us has been stupid at some point.  And if it's like Shakespeare's quote"all the world's a stage and the people merely players" then I'm the director/producer of my stage - which still means that I'm responsible for having directed and/or not directed as needed.)  

I should put pretty pictures in this - it would be richer. And maybe some day I will.  But I'm pretty busy right now.  

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