Remember to Play

What do you do when you are caught by yourself and don't have a clue what to do? When everyone you know is off playing and you have to be by yourself... When you don't know what to do? AND you are so tired of working you could just

... cry, scream, have a temper tantrum. (If you were 3.)

You sit back, and try to figure out what's wrong. When did being alone become hard? Was I four or fourteen? Or did it happen somewhere past forty? I don't remember. But somewhen I forgot how to play.


Oh I was really good at making sure that my children's play was sacred. We made mud pies, brownies, rollerskated. We blew bubbles and made sand castles. We rolled down the hill, rode trikes and bikes. We made up games like 'Pink" and "Pounce" (think rainbows from the crystals in the window and cat like behavior.)

We read stories, I told stories. We made villages in the basement from appliance boxes, and our driveway was always full of children.

And it was -20F with a half inch of ice on everything when we polished our downhill driveway with our butts so the point where you couldn't walk on it at all. (or get the car out... LOL


And then they grew up. And I forgot how to play. Everything I did had a purpose. Write a story. Paint a picture to match the furniture, and the walls. Create wreaths for the season - which ever season it was. Create, create, create... always for a purpose.

My kids know how to play. Because they somehow learned that play was sacred. And they remember.

But I forgot.
I have spent the last three years learning how to be idle again. And honestly I never knew it would be hard.

Make a home for myself, and my almost grown son. Work. Study. Keep busy so I don't have to be alone with the idea that I am afraid to play by myself.



A couple of weeks ago I got out the chalk and started drawing. And writing what amounts to pithy sayings on my local sidewalk. And I have learned to play again... Oh I've had my share of detractors that write nasty things with the chalk that I leave for others to use... The really nice thing about chalk - the nastiness can be erased with a little water and a cheap paint brush.

But there are people who have responded to my "Please draw... she asks quietly." There have been hearts, short love notes. Stars and moons. And a Rocket to the Moon...

This is a small corner of this big world... And here we will be kind to each other. We will speak softly, for Words Have Power, and they carry further than we can imagine.


For me - right now - the most loving thing I can do for myself - is learn how to play with the innocence of a child, eyes twinkling, dancing on tiptoe. It doesn't matter that I'm an author of a children's book (and two unpublished novels, an itty bitty self help book, and tons of short stories), or in graduate school... those are things I do during the day. It matters that I'm as good a mom as I can be, a caring friend, and a kind stranger. What I am is love. And my blog(s), my Twitter account, and my often neglected Facebook page reflect that.


The theme of all of these is... it has always been...

Live vividly, learn earnestly, laugh whole heartedly, and love with everything you've got.


We work hard, and this is good, but Remember to Play ~ it's good for your soul.

~Gayle~
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***Hugs***

Kivi and the Lizard People - by Gayle McCain, Author

What do I love?  What do I believe I am good at?

 Making a difference in lives…


Answering a zillion questions when you came to my office, school, store… helping you find what you needed, interpret the results you got, understand the market. My income was never dependent upon whether you attended my school, or bought the latest widget from us. My information was my gift to you. And 9 times out of 10 – you’d come back to wherever I was working to buy something, or use our service.   I understood the market. I understood what it took to get to what your dreams were.

I left the workforce to stay home and raise my two children.  I understand their tender hearts… what makes them feel loved, abandoned, angry, cherished. Those things don’t change even when your eldest has been admitted to graduate school and your youngest is old enough to drive. They all want to feel cherished.

As parents we would all rather spend quality time with our children.  I especially liked reading to mine... because I love it. I loved snuggle time, even when I was reading to someone else’s kids. (I miss that now that my kids are older.)  Over the years I tried not to use the TV to babysit my kids for hours… Because children are HUNGRY for attention. When I was raising my youngsters, neighbor children came to MY house to play, and get the attention they craved from a caring adult. But honestly –by mid-afternoon we all were worn out… And then since none of the kids took naps, everyone had some downtime while a video played in the background. Until we could go again.

I wasn't a perfect parent, by any means.  I struggled with my son's independent nature, and his temper.  I wrote Kivi and the Lizard People because sometimes in frustration – I got angry at him. I had to learn how to respond to his anger in a kind loving manner. And it took me a while to learn what worked, and what didn’t. What words set him off, and what soothed.  I'm still learning.

Psychologists know a lot more about ANGER now than they did when my kids were little. But most of it is still in ADULT speak. Meaning if you’re an overwhelmed mom you may not have the time or patience to focus on the big words. Here it is in a nutshell.

• Be as loving as you can.
• During a melt down – your child’s or yours… stop, close your mouth, and breathe.  Don't speak words you will end up regretting later.
• Read simple things for yourself.
• If you are struggling with emotional issues - ask for help.  Do what it takes to heal your wounds, so you can be a better parent.  No one can do it for you.  And even though it is work, hard work, it is worth it.


Kivi and the Lizard People gives parents simple words to talk with their children about where anger comes from, and how to shift away from it.    If you would like to buy a copy - it is available on iPad and iPhone - see the link on the right.

I want to Make a difference…  I hope someday that books like Kivi and the Lizard People will become obsolete. So that the human race NEVER needs these kinds of books again.



EVER.


Gayle McCain
***Hugs***